introspective ramblings

Its been quite some time since I blogged, even though there's a lot going on that I would like to write about.
But I found a diary, from a dear old friend and so went the old fashioned way of putting pen to paper for some time.

Now back to blog time.

Topic 1:

A recent e-mail from a stick insect in bata shoes, a conversation with two other people who matter has put me in an introspective mood of late. Now, theres nothing wrong with introspection, but what if your mind takes you in an unnecessary direction?
This is exactly what my mind did when I started thinking about, well, my life in general.
So I spent a few days, in complete emotional turmoil hating myself for having started this process of introspection, and not being able to stop it or even control the process.
But for the past three days or so, my mind seems to have taken an about turn.
I feel quite positive or at least the bad stuff doesn't bother me so much. I'm thankful for where I am placed in my life right now, and am extremely aware that there are so many people my age who don't have all the luxuries that I take for granted.

Topic 2:

What I always wanted from a job, was that I should never feel like going back home. when I get to office, I want to be so consumed and absorbed in what I do that i aint waiting for the clock to strike 5:10pm.
But thats not happening in my job right now. I have a great boss, all my senior colleagues are encouraging, i'm doing good work and all that rot, but somehow, i'm waiting for 5:10pm. So I can catch the first bus to go home.I know i'm not passionate about my job. Am I judging my job too early? Should I give myself more time to settle in? Dunno.


But somehow I just have this gut feeling my "thing" is out there somewhere, calling to me, screaming to me, and I am simply unable to hear. And I want to hear it so bad. So bad. I feel like I am running out of time. Have you ever felt that? Like sand slipping away form between your fingers?It makes you feel so restless. And so lazy. At the same time. I know i'm threatening to get into a rut, and I have to do something to save myself. But what?

So i've made a list of things to do. And i'm going to put a conscious effort in that direction. This list wont necessarily lead me to my calling, but my instinct says this is the path on which i'm to be right now.

Topic 3:

1. Make atleast 7 bookmarks every week.
2. Jog for atleast half an hour everyday. (this i've already started.)
3. Start gathering materials for the big billi next year.
4. Practice dance atleast twice a week.
5. Learn to love my job.
6. Buy a book every month.
7. Go out to eat once a week.
8. concentrate on textiles and fabrics while shopping. all aspects.

There must be many more here. But let me start with this and then take it from there.

So everybody who's reading this, pray that i follow all my items on my list to the T.

Till next time then,
Love, Peace and lotsa hugs!
Muffet.